Let’s be honest, part 2

Till We Have Faces

I was ‘browsing’ facebook the other day and clicked to a girl-who-I-don’t-know’s blog. I expected it to be really dumb and shallow, and the title of the first post was, “Lo0o0ove and such.”, which didn’t bode well. However, the post was pretty much about how this girl put a lot of stock in how she looked and how people thought she looked and how,

Since the 7th grade when I started wearing make-up, I haven’t been able to look at anyone in the eye when I didn’t have my face on. I couldn’t even look at my mom for more than 5 seconds, before looking away. For me, makeup is the wall I hide behind every day.

And about how an interaction with her boyfriend when she didn’t have her “face” on, was actually a huge deal for her and helped her to feel accepted in a way that she hasn’t for a long time. All biblical/spiritual significances re “face” aside, reading the post was pretty moving.

Love Line

On my way back up from San Diego last night I was listening to Love Line (don’t ask), which is pretty much a late night radio talk show where they talk about pretty interesting/crude/crazy situations regarding mainly sex, and sometimes Love. What struck me about the show is that while I may not really agree with all the things they say or the advice they give, it was pretty cool how honest people would get when they knew they would not get judged because, 1) they were anonymous, and 2) the hosts had probably heard much crazier things before. The hosts are actually decent listeners and straight shooters when it comes to advice (although they rarely get very deep into backgrounds and the details, for obvious reasons). There’s something perhaps to be learned in this about dealing with and loving one another. But yeah, I don’t really recommend you listen to the show.

Of Whom I Am the Worst

Often, when I am struggling with dealing with some particularly crappy aspect of my personality, or I’ve done something more boneheaded and dickish than usual, I will console myself by saying, “At least I’m not the worst guy in the world!” And begin to list in my head all those guys who I think are worse than I am (there are many). But honestly, who cares. I was thinking about this today and really doesn’t this just mean that God, in his infinite wisdom, looked at my spiritual/physical/mental/emotional makeup and decided, “Man, he’s really just too weak to be tempted in all these ways. I’ll just give Justin decent parents, a good socioeconomic rung on the ladder, no real personality or mental disorders, good health, and a fairly strong desire to be in community and for truth and justice and good stuff like that.”

I won’t go too far into this, but shouldn’t the idea that “He who is forgiven much, loves much” quench our desire to take pride in the fact that we can sometimes say, “Actually, I’m pretty okay on my own” (and mean it)? It’s sad (but I’m grateful) that God decided I am not really strong enough to deal with real persecution or suffering (yet?).  But the really sad part is that  I seem intent on whitewashing and overlooking my brokenness and sins, when if I would just look at them head on, instead of being crushed like I fear I would actually come to a greater understanding of His Love for me. Jesus didn’t come and die for “okay guys”, and I don’t think he’ll be satisfied if we ignore our plight, and continue to just be “okay” all the time.

One last thing: I know that sin is sometimes/often jarring, but I don’t get why we/I are so often surprised when people confess just how sinful they really are. Don’t we know this from (very personal) experience? And isn’t it beautiful, the heavenly calculus that turns greater degrees of forgiveness in greater depths of love?

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~ by justinhong on September 9, 2010.

2 Responses to “Let’s be honest, part 2”

  1. dude TK made a comparison today about how the bride on her wedding day wears makeup and adornments and white because she isn’t perfect, but wants to look that way. and in the same way God is already perfect but chooses us anyways — that’s why the song goes “and in the arms of my dear savior o there are ten thousand charms”.

    actually i think he was deeper than that but i forgot it on my run. but the song makes sense now!

  2. *like*

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