A Ghost

to whom it may concern,
i know you may remember me and i hope you dont delete this email out of spite. i know i am somewhat reprehensible and have taken advantage of situations in the past. i cannot say i am turning a new leaf but i have a few things to say. i see the world as a very messed up place and is so because we dont get out of our comfort zones, myself included. even though being homeless has not been where i envisioned myself while sitting in high school, i know i have had a very blessed life. never once doing drugs or smoking, drinking as little as i have, and having the diet soda addiction. i know things could be a lot worse and i know there comes a time to step up and repay for what you have gotten. i am currently in tijuana mexico, less than one mile from the US. there are lots of people who make me look like a king living in america. people dont realize what poverty is until they come here and are face to face with people who dont get a full meal every day. being homeless in america there are always soup kitchens or food pantries to get food. i have said it many times that you might not have good clothes or money for the local bus but if you are hungry in the US, you are just lazy. here in tj people are scraping by on almost nothing. i have given away most of my things to try and appease the guilt i hasve for taking advantage of people over the years. there have been people who have helped me and i know in most cases it was a major sacrifice and i just want to say thanks. i have decided to stay here in mexico and try to head to mexico city and find a ministry to be involved with. i dont know how this will work out because most ministries want references and such and with one exception, i dont have any. i have lots of skills in dealing with people and have a kernel of faith from a decision long ago to trust christ as my savior. over the yrs i have used this and have been wrong in doing so. i know there is something bigger than me but dont know why he would give a rip about  me. there are plenty of times i have hoped i would die and even tried to expedite this but seeing as i havnt shuffled off the mortal coil, its time to step up. i dont know how i am going to do this financially but hopefully god will see fit to help out a poor bum like me. if you could pen a response and let me know what you think,  i would greatly appreciate it.
god bless,
gary

ps. i know this wont mean much but i do greatly and humbly apologize for my shortcomings and if i have offended anyone please accept my apologies
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~ by justinhong on May 6, 2010.

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