Today on BART on the way home from work I thought to myself “How can it be so freaking beautiful outside today, in January??”. And I caught myself feeling sort of guilty for enjoying the unseasonably pleasant weather.

For awhile now, I’ve been attempting to look at things from a more holistic (especially as regards to the environment) standpoint. So the thought that we’re in our third (or fourth?) year of a severe drought somewhat hindered my enjoyment.

But then I got to thinking, global warming and environmental deterioration aside, if God decides to give us a few pleasant days in the middle of winter, who am I to cry foul and shake my weak little fists at the gift?

When I used to read in the Bible says that the Lord sends rain upon the righteous and the wicked alike, I used to think of it as something along the lines of, “Crap happens to good people and bad people, suck it up.” But allowing myself to take an expanded perspective on things and taking into account that people were more in touch with their agrarian roots during biblical times, I’ve realized that probably a better way to read the verse would be, “See the grace of God? That he showers life-giving waters upon the fields of those who don’t know him and even those who rebel against him!”

Sometimes things will happen to me that jar me and throw me off the well-beaten track on which I usually go about my day. A lot of times it’s painful and a few times it’s been nice. The feeling is akin to the sensation in your body after a horrifically tiring workout or during a fast. Your body is stunned and you seem to see things differently. The energy you normally use to walk around and go up and down stairs has been stripped away but the energy that’s left, or the energy that emerges, feels fresh. Your senses are alert and you seem to notice your limbs and your skin and your surroundings in a way that you haven’t before. It’s a humbling thing, to realize that your mind and body can sometimes be at the complete mercy of your emotions, which in turn can be rocked by a mere word caught in the wind, or news from distant shores. But I gotta say, it’s a lot better than what I normally experience in my thought life, it’s exciting.

That being said, I’ve realized that most, or all of the most exciting and important decisions I’ve made so far in my life, have been made in the middle of the night, or at least birthed there. Whether or not that’s wise or the best way to go about things, I know not. But it’s a good reason to start drinking coffee after dinner!


~ by justinhong on January 7, 2010.

One Response to “”

  1. I wish I could say that the best decisions of my life have been made in the middle of the night. But that is the polar opposite of truth.

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