i cried today.

yeah. so today kind of sucked (wrestling wise, the rest was ok). i was over 2lbs by the end of school so i ran in sweats and wrestled (hehe that was fun farhan and bach) and i eventually got to 160. so we head off to independence high at 5 and before the match starts lloyd calls me a sina over and asks “okay i want an honest appraisal, which of you guys is better? i mean i don’t want anyone doing what (peter) hsieh did and go out there an lie down, and i know he (sina) won’t quit on me…” now, i KNOW i don’t really go to practice but i’ve been working my ass off before every meet/tournament to make weight… very cool lloyd. so both of us say that i’m better (which i’m not even really sure of, sina’s in pretty good shape) and so the meet goes on.

when it comes to the varsity match val lloyd called me and mehdi over and we talked… to make a long story short they were bumping mehdi up a weight class and bumping me out. i was already pissed before when lloyd said that i’d quit in a match and now they fcking pull me out because val hasn’t seen me wrestle in awhile? wtf… but then again maybe i deserve it.

this is the part where i get to crying (not real crying but the kind that comes from anger/disappointment that wells up in you for awhile until you can’t hide it and you know that if you look anyone in the face it’ll come out regardless of how much you try to keep it in). no, there wasn’t really any REAL reason to it, nobody died, i didn’t get hurt or anything (well maybe just my feelings). but i cried because i was disappointed that i’d lost weight for no fcking reason. i cried because i was a disappointmentslackeruselesspracticeditchingexcuseforawrestler. so yeah i probably deserved to be bumped. but we’ll see tomorrow when i wrestle off against medhi (i intend to prove val wrong.)


~ by justinhong on December 19, 2002.

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